Some days I think about how much I would like to go back in time, to when I was younger and struggling, to tell myself a few things that would have helped me get through those tougher years. Although I cannot go back in time (unfortunately) I will instead talk about the things I would have told myself, in hopes that one of you reading this will take these tips to heart, and they can help you change your life around.
So here are 13 things I would tell my younger self:
items are just items, and they will not cause happiness!
I’ve struggled with this concept for the longest time, and sometimes to this day I still do. My family has never had money, and without money you don’t get those brand name clothes, and my younger self thought I needed those clothes to be accepted and liked.
In reality the clothing you wear, and the items you have DO NOT define who you are. You could have all the nicest things, and still be cold on the inside.
Items are just items, paid for by a piece of paper, that we’ve grown up thinking rules the world. What’s more important is what type of person you actually are, and how you show it to others.
Put your phone down!
Your social media will be there when you’re alone at home after hanging out with friends. Enjoy the time with your friends now, as those times are going to be memories with you forever. On that note, the amount of likes, and friends, and favourites you have on social media DON’T matter. Social media has become this platform where people put on their best face, and only show the most fun parts of themselves, creating an unrealistic version of the person.
Stop caring about how many people like your instagram picture, there’s more to life.
Don’t forget about your friends when you get into a relationship!
Everyone knows how it goes, you have a friend that gets into a relationship, and you lose him or her for a while. The person gets so involved in the honeymoon phase of a relationship, and they don’t make friends a priority.I’ve been there countless times. I’ve been the friend who forgets about friends, and I’ve been the forgotten friend.
All I am going to say on this topic is make time for your friends. I’ve lost friends because I forgot about them while I was in a relationship, and to this day I wish I had made them a priority. I’ve also lost friends because I became an option for them.
Friends are the family you get to pick.
Take care of your mental health!
Every one has mental health. Everyone has had troubles in their lives, and everyone is fighting their own battle. The difference is some people speak about it, and some people don’t. The thing is everyone should! I didn’t for the longest time, and it made me spiral out of control. Today I am taking my mental health seriously. I’m speaking to a mental health worker, and I’m aware of my seasonal affective disorder, and my social anxiety. I know what my triggers are, and how to calm myself when I’m feeling like it’s all too much.
I wish I had known those things when I was younger. Please talk to someone if you’re not feeling yourself, it will do wonders.
ps: I will be doing a post about my mental health journey soon, and what I’ve learned, and how I take care of myself now.
This should be number one, as it’s the most important thing in someone’s life. Like I mentioned in my previous post How to: Self-Love, accepting yourself and loving yourself will make your life 100% more fulfilling. Stop focusing on how much makeup you have to wear to get rid of little things you don’t like about yourself, and just accept them. You are you for a reason. When you love yourself, you radiate love and confidence, which other people will notice.
Relationships and love don’t always last forever!
During my long-term relationship I was determined to make a relationship work that already wasn’t working. I figured that if for almost four years we were together, we were supposed to be forever, but I was wrong. Love doesn’t always last forever, but that’s okay! You’re put into these situations and these relationships for a reason, and it’s because they teach you something. You have to learn to appreciate these lessons, and the love that was there, when it was. Just because the love ended, doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate that it once happened. It’s better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.
Bad feeling will go away!
You may hate yourself today, but tomorrow is a new day. Life is going to have ups and downs, but if you let those negative thoughts and feelings consume your life, you’re going to get in a hole, that’s hard to get out. If you’re going through a down right now, remember always, that there will be another up. Things are going to get better, and eventually you’ll be exactly where you hoped to be one day.
Do what you love, and love what you do!
My notebook for my newspaper has that written on the front of it, to remind me always that I’m following my dreams. It wasn’t always like that for me though. I used to do things because others enjoyed them, even if I hated them. I played sports I didn’t enjoy because I thought if I did them, it would make me a better person.
So why do things you don’t enjoy? Gravitate to things that YOU love, because if you’re doing something you love, it’s going to make you happy. If you’re feeling stuck in something you’re not enjoying, change it.
Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind!
Stop worrying about what others are talking about. Stop involving yourself in the gossip. Those who talk about you behind your back DO NOT matter. People will always make fun of you, will always judge you for what you’re doing, what’s important is that you show them (and yourself) that you’re amazing, and can do anything you put your mind to. The only opinion that matters is your own.
Don’t look too far ahead!
Things are going to change, that’s a given. Planning too far into the future is going to not let you enjoy the now. Set short and long term goals, but if they don’t happen, don’t beat yourself up about them. Don’t focus on boyfriends, girlfriends, babies, marriages, and careers, focus on yourself, and all those things will come naturally, at the right time.
Pay more attention in school or work!
Focus on your class work, and the things you are learning everyday. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that History or English class, and learn everything again, as I feel like I’ve forgotten a lot of great information. The classes may seem boring, but in the future, the information and knowledge, could be beneficial in a conversation or career.
Have real conversations!
I wish I had spoken to the older adults more in my youth about their experiences, and life more. Whenever I speak to adults now, I have such interest in learning about their lives, and what they would say to younger people. Plus I find those conversations a lot more meaningful because they tend to gossip less, and the conversations are topical, and interesting.
People make mistakes, people mess up, and you’re going to have plenty of those in life. You’re not a bad person because you got a 56% in that science class, or because you had one too many drinks. You’re not a terrible person because you broke someone’s heart, or because you had a fight with a friend. It’s important to remember to forgive yourself, and move forward in life. If you can’t forgive yourself for something that happened, you’ll never be looking ahead, embracing the new exciting things life has to offer.
Bonus: Accept the family you have. No one is perfect, it’s important to love the family you have, and not wish you had another one. Appreciate your parents; they brought you into this beautiful world.
“Just be, right now, here; and breathe. Begin to trust the magic of yourself.”