One of the biggest lessons of my life that I’m still learning is that my beauty isn’t measured by my hair, my clothing or my body shape.
It’s measured by my heart, my soul and my ability to push through. If I know that, then why is it so hard to live by that statement every single day?
It’s hard because as women we are told that we need to be the tiniest version of ourselves, with the newest trending clothes, perfectly curled hair and a sexy smokey eye with a bright lip. We’re told we need tightening moisturizers and dyed hair. The beauty industry is making millions off of women’s insecurities.
Tabloids cover when someone gains 15 pounds and shuns someone for the clothing they wore. It’s a constant “who wore it better” competition between women.
Our world is full of Instagram famous models showcasing the latest Chanel bag to their 15-year-old followers who aspire to be them. To aspire to be able to own the latest Chanel bag. Because once they can afford that, they know they’ve made it. They’ll be happy then.
I have those thoughts too.
- I’ll be happier once I buy a new car – Mine has rust showing
- I’ll be happier once I get my hair sorted out – Can anyone else see my dead ends?!
- I’ll be happier once I buy a pair of Blundstones because I need them to complete my wardrobe
- I’ll be happier once I buy that Matt and Nat backpack I’ve been wanting for years
- I’ll be happier once I have 1000 Instagram followers
- I’ll be happier once my stomach is flatter
- I’ll be happier once I stop breaking out
But, if I was to simply change my mindset to focus on my beauty being measured by my heart, these may come to mind:
- I’ll be happier when I can sit with myself in silence
- I’ll be happier when I stop scrolling and comparing myself to other women’s outer beauty
- I’ll be happier when I’m happy with the skin I’m in
- I’ll be happier when I don’t need to wear makeup to prettier
- I’ll be happier when I learn to love myself
- I’ll be happier when I pay attention to my body in a healthy way
As women, we need to remember that we’re in this together. Laying in bed and scrolling through the explore feed on Instagram, comparing your life, body and clothing to another woman isn’t going to get you anywhere positive.
It’s going to dig you deep into this hole of self-doubt and low self-esteem. We can’t be stuck in that hole because, in the end, it ruins our beauty. I’m in that hole way too much and it’s time to start digging myself out.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel and be outwardly beautiful. But we must remember that we cannot put more emphasis on our outer beauty. Inner beauty creates a glowing outer beauty. You can be the ideal looking woman, but if you’re not a good person to others or yourself, your outside beauty will be tainted.
I believe that the unrealistic expectations of what beauty is winning when we believe that we need more makeup on our faces. When our day is full of “I hate my body moments”. When after we scroll on Instagram we feel an emptiness in our soul. When we believe we’re not good enough.
One of the biggest life changers for me was the elimination of makeup in my life. Now, before anyone loses their mind on me, I’m not saying all makeup should be thrown out. But my hope is that more women will feel confident to walk out of their house without makeup on. That more women will feel complete in their beautiful, bare skin.
I spent a full month without makeup. It opened my eyes to the deep amount of pain that makeup brought to my life. I couldn’t bear to be without it. My face just didn’t look as beautiful when I didn’t wear foundation. My red blotches, my acne scars and my under eye circles made me less of a perfect woman and those thoughts took over.
Once the month was finished, I was confident showing my freckles. I was confident going on dates, networking events and seeing people without makeup on. Now, I rarely wear makeup. I don’t wear it to work and I still feel like a career woman. I don’t wear it on all dates and I still feel beautiful & and I know Matt thinks that too.
One night I was going to two Christmas parties and I was experiencing a lot of acne. I was doing my makeup and my foundation just wasn’t covering up my spots. I broke down and I felt like absolute shit about myself. I thought everyone would be staring at my acne and thinking that I wasn’t perfect. (spoiler: I’m not perfect)
So, instead of caking even more makeup on, I washed my face. I took all of my makeup off and I went to the parties with bare skin. And you know what? Not one person mentioned my acne. Not once did I feel like people were looking at my acne instead of looking at me.
In that moment, I realized that my beauty really isn’t measured from the outside. That night people enjoyed my company, I had deep and meaningful conversations with people and everyone saw my inner beauty come out. I felt my inner beauty come out. My heart was more important than my outer beauty.
So, what’s my takeaway? Love makeup if you love it, but don’t let it run your world. Try to leave your house once this week without makeup on. It may feel extremely uncomfortable at first, but with time, you’ll forget you’re not even wearing makeup.
Remember that Instagram is a highlight reel. We all have something to work on and we all have negative thoughts about ourselves. Try turning your social media off for a day this week. Every time you reach for your phone, say something out loud that you love about yourself instead. You may be shocked how much we click on our social media apps on our phones.
Doubt yourself less and do more.
Your body is your body. Let’s plan to work on things that we can change this year instead of hating the body that’s keeping us alive. Let’s focus on the inside this year.
Scroll less. Love more. Believe in yourself.
When you work on your inner beauty, your outer beauty will shine through like it’s never before.