I’ve been learning a lot lately.
My mind has been more clear than it’s ever been. I think it has a lot to do with attending so many magic Moksha Yoga classes, getting outside, the sunshine on my skin and spending time with myself + quality people.
The lessons I’ve learned during these times have both stuck with me and floated through my body allowing me to acknowledge them and continue on my path.
Here they are:
- You can’t control what other people think of you
This is the biggest and most profound lesson I’ve learned and am still learning. I’ve spent 24 years paranoid about what others think of me. It breaks me down when my name comes out of someone else’s mouth negatively or in an ill-willed manner. It breaks me down when people dislike me, think bad thoughts about me or don’t see the kindness that I’m so eagerly trying to live my life by.
But, I’m learning that those things can’t control me anymore. I am me and they are them. They will speak my name however they want to, think whatever they think and I will simply continue down my own path.
My path may change. There will be potholes, I will take some wrong turns, but I can only keep going. If people think differently because my path is different than theirs, my beliefs are different or I make some mistakes along the way, I can’t control that.
You can only move forward to. Every day is a step forward.
I’ve been reading the book The 4 Agreements and it’s been quite eye-opening, but also a really hard read. It seems like I’m highlighting every other word because it’s gold, but turning that gold into practice isn’t as easy as picking up the highlighter.
One of the 4 agreements is “Don’t Take Anything Personally”
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
- Quality people will remain quality people
This one fills my heart up with so much happiness that I could squeal. After spending some quality time with a couple of rad chicks this past couple of weeks, I realize that quality people will remain quality people. No matter the distance in the friendship, the time apart or the length of the hangout, the quality remains.
Those deep belly laughs that allow you to soak in your happiness are still the same. It’s a reminder that life really is amazing. Your people are out there. Maybe it’s time to reconnect with some of the people who give you those belly laughs.
People really are amazing and if we simply focus on the people and things that make us have those deep belly laughs, our lives will be sure to change for the better.
- Your voice is there for a reason
I’ve been speaking for probably close to 24 years now (give or take my math) and it’s just been in these last couple of months has my voice been heard. By me and by others.
I’ve always used my voice through writing, but I’ve never felt confident enough to speak up. I didn’t think I was smart enough to speak up. What if someone corrected me? What if I looked dumb? What if my voice really didn’t matter?
- If someone corrects me, I learn something new. Amazing!
- If I look dumb, so be it. No one is perfect!
- My voice does matter. We all have a voice for a reason – to use it!
If I’m hurt, I’m going to tell you I’m hurt. If I’m offended, I’m going to tell you why I’m offended. If I love you, you’re going to hear about it from me. If your friendship matters to me, I’m going to tell you. If I’m being mistreated, my voice will be heard. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still struggle with acknowledging and speaking my feelings to others, but it’s a work in progress.
It’s been life changing and VERY awkward at times when I’ve found my voice. People don’t like confrontational conversations but if we can’t speak up, we’re never going to grow. If we never grow, life is going to remain the same.
- Stop painting red flags green
I was recently listening to a podcast called Ladies Who Lunch and the host Ingrid said she learned a lesson recently. It was to “stop painting red flags green”.
I could instantly feel a push on my heart. My eyes opened wide, my jaw probably hit the floor. I’ve been painting red flags green my WHOLE life.
- Red flags in relationships
- Red flags in friendships
- Red flags in family situations
- Red flags in work situations
So many of my red flags were painted green. I knowingly painted them green to thinking “I can handle this.” “This isn’t so bad” “I would be crazy to leave this situation. I deserve this. This is what it’s like for everyone”.
I hope to stop painting my red flags green. I hope to acknowledge that they’re red and to trust my gut and my intuition to leave or stay away. We need to trust ourselves more.
What lessons have you learned recently? I would love to hear about them in the comments below!