I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness this past weekend while I was in Vancouver.
It was uncharted territory and I didn’t know exactly how to handle it. I made excitement squeals almost every five minutes, said the words “I’m so happy” over and over again and my smile was painted on my face.
In the matter of two nights and two and a half days… I fell in love with Vancouver.
Was it Vancouver or was it the sense of creativity I felt there?
I drove to Vancouver for a small weekend getaway with my friend Steffanie. Steffanie is an artist who has helped me see life through a different light. The entire time I was in Vancouver I was looking at signs, the way the light hit a building, the way people dressed and I was seeing beauty in every step I took.
It was magical.
My heart was happy when I was in Vancouver.
I was unequivocally excited about returning back to Kelowna to become more creative.
I knew that once I got back home, I was going to work hard to achieve my goals. I wasn’t going to let anything stop me.
Or so I thought…
Why does one have a holiday brain and one has a normal life brain?
I returned to Kelowna to have my head fill with stress in a matter of seconds. In one day my mind has been clouded with reality and expectations that I put on myself.
I am struggling to grab on to that happiness I felt less than 24 hours ago.
These days are okay to have and I’m writing this to show that not every day is the perfect day. This is me acknowledging and documenting that there are happy days and there are sad days.
I have always been a girl with high expectations, high stress and a high desire to “make it”.
I have always known that I would travel, see places and be a creative soul. I have always known I take things to heart, I am highly emotional and I stress about every little thing.
I have always been a girl that is in love with happiness but feels comfort in sadness.
I have always known that is okay because that is just who I am.
Sometimes I need to put my headphones on, drowned out reality with music and sometimes I just need a hug. Sometimes I just need someone to be there for me, just to be there and not to expect something in return.
I will always be a creative soul, who has a desire to go places, see things and live a truly authentic life.
I just know I will go through these rough patches where I have a hard time physically pursuing the passion I feel in my soul.
“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”