How to: Self-love

on train

Self-acceptance is probably one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. It’s about fully being happy with who you are, what you have, and where you are going in life. Before I moved to Manitoba I did not accept myself. I didn’t like who I was, I didn’t have any confidence, and the only way I felt accepted is if I had a man by my side. In a year a half, I have done a complete 180, and love myself… finally.

I love myself because I know there is only one of me, and I was put on this earth for some reason. I may not know what that exact reason is yet, but I know I’ll find out soon, and until then I will give myself self-love. I learned to accept myself in five simple steps, and I’m now going to share these steps with you, to help you learn to love yourself too!

1. You can’t love anyone until you learn to love yourself.

My mom would tell me this growing up, but I never ever listened to her. I thought if someone else loved me that would be enough, and maybe I would learn to love myself that way, but I was wrong. Being in unhealthy and toxic relationships are going to do nothing but hurt you, and break your heart even more. It’s important to stand up for yourself, walk on your own two feet, and be alone until you learn exactly what you want and don’t want in a partnership. You don’t need a man or a woman to be happy. YOU have to make YOURSELF happy.

A lot of people are scared to be single, and trust me there are some times when it’s not great, but for the most part I love it. Being single gives you time to learn about yourself, hear your own thoughts, and do things for yourself, and no one else. I am the happiest I’ve ever been in life, and I never thought I could be happy alone.

2. Get rid of negativity

When you’re younger your friends are friends based on mutual friends, or because of proximity. After moving half way across the country I have learned who my real friends are, and the ones that haven’t kept in touch with me, I know we were only proximity friends. I’ve had my fair share of one-sided friendships, where one person puts in all the work, and it feels like if you don’t try, they wouldn’t even notice you not being around. These types of people are not needed in your life. Surround yourself around positive people who give off positive vibes. Be around people who love to smile and laugh, and you’ll notice you’re smiling and laughing more because of them.

De-clutter your life and your belongings of parts of your past that you won’t be repeating. Look forward, and not behind. This also includes trying to stop bad habits like smoking!

3. Acknowledge the little things

Wake up in the morning and smell the roses… or the coffee, whichever you prefer. Notice the little things in life, the small reminders that life is good, and with these reminders you’ll see yourself focusing on the good, and not complaining. I have a gratitude journal I write in every night, and I write three things about the day that I loved, this has really helped me focus on all things positive, big or small.

Today I’m grateful for: This blog, getting to go kayaking with one of my best friends tonight, and a successful week of work.

4. Love your body

Okay so this is a tough one. There will always be “problem spots” for everyone, but it’s important to not just nag on the things you don’t like about your body. Write a list of five body parts you like on yourself, and try to showcase those as much as possible!

I learned that I personally love my bare face with my freckles. I wear less makeup now, and even go about 3 days a week to work without any makeup on. Try it, it’s freeing!

5. Share love and kindness

One of the things I try to do everyday is share some type of kind gesture to someone. It could be a stranger, or one of my best friends, but by doing that you help make someone’s day, which in turn makes you feel good. It can be as simple as opening a door, or smiling at a stranger. Everyone is fighting their own battle, and that simple small act of kindness could help them keep on fighting. Some of things I like to do is send snail mail to my pen pal, donate my old clothes to places like the YWCA, and I always try to smile and say hi to people on the streets.

Bonus: sign up for http://www.tut.com

It’s a website that sends daily emails to your inbox. I look forward to reading these every morning, and as soon as I wake up I check my inbox. These small emails help start the day off with positive vibes. Today my email read, “Thinking, Molly, is life’s only variable. Everything else was settled a long, long time ago.”

I hope this helps you get started on a life of positivity, which will result in self-love.

Good luck,

Molly xx


People inspire you, or they drain you… pick them wisely.

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  • Reply
    Patrice Gibson
    July 10, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    great words Molly – love it all..so proud of you.
    Mom xxxooo

    • Reply
      July 17, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Love you!

  • Reply
    July 17, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Awww 🙂 You obviously have a very supportive mom, Molly! Love how she commented here. This is a great post, and a great reminder that we all need to do this. I didn’t really “love myself” until I hit my 40’s. I’m now happier with myself and my life than I ever have been before. I just wish I could have felt this way in my 20’s!

    • Reply
      July 17, 2015 at 6:40 pm

      Sandy, it all hits us at different ages! I’m glad you’re happy with yourself now, that’s all that matters. Got to keep thinking ahead, and not behind 🙂

  • Reply
    July 17, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    All of these tips are great reminders – and didn’t know about tut.com! I’m going to try it!

    • Reply
      July 17, 2015 at 6:40 pm

      Notes from the Universe is great! It’s the first thing I look at when I wake up, and it helps me start my day off with a smile. I hope it works the same for you.

  • Reply
    July 24, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    These are really meaningful tips. It’s interesting how we can hear these things our entire lives but not have a deep understanding of what they really mean until we’re older and living life.

    • Reply
      July 24, 2015 at 7:19 pm

      I totally agree! I think you have to live a little, and really understand the world to be able to take these tips to heart 🙂

  • Reply
    July 24, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    I love these! It’s so important to love yourself and to have self-confidence.

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