I recently watched an old video of Lauren Toyota’s where she answered a question that I asked her. Lauren is someone I look up for for a lot of different reasons. I think Lauren is one of the most genuine and real people that I subscribe to on Youtube. She seems like a grounded person and she also makes kick ass vegan food.
I wanted to know what her last “A-HA” moment was, and how it changed her life. Her answer has stuck with me and I now have “money is my bitch” written so many different places in my home, in journals, on a piece of paper in my car, and even on a note on my phone.
It got me thinking tonight about what my last “A-HA” moment was, and how it changed my life. I started to really think about it while I was in the shower. I sat down in the shower, I let the hot water run down my body, I shut my eyes, and I meditated and went still.. then it popped in my mind.
The one thing that I kept thinking about had to do with my mind.
Now to rewind a bit, I have been quite an anxious person since junior high. I don’t know what exactly caused it, but it’s only gotten worse throughout the years. My anxiety is at an all time high right now in my life.
My last A-HA moment… was realizing my anxious mind is part of who I am and it’s not something I have to fight.
I know many people say that anxiety is something they battle with and that it is something they want to fight and win, I totally get that but that is not it for me.
For years I’ve been told I have to battle my anxiety, my depression, my struggles, and that I need to come out on top. I’m tired of always fighting… I just want to live.
Recently/right now I’m trying to accept that the constant running of my mind is just who I am. It’s not something I have to overcome or be ashamed I once had, it’s something I want to embrace and realize it’s not always a bad thing.
My anxious mind comes and goes and one of the things that helps my mind stop running marathons is peace and quiet.
Whenever I feel anxious now I like to lay down, close my eyes, surround myself with good energy, which usually are my crystals and rocks I’ve collected and I just breathe. My thoughts slow to a jog and eventually they’re as slow as a tortoise.
I love surrounding myself with peace and serenity. My crystals are now placed all over my home to make me feel safe here.
Another thing I do when I feel anxious or when my mind is so cluttered is I step outside in the fresh air, or if I’m in my car I roll down the window and I just breathe in the fresh air. The sun also really helps!
I know this may not seem like an A-HA moment, but for me it’s huge. I’ve always been battling my mind and I’ve always been ashamed that I struggle with my mental health, but that is just STUPID. I need to learn to accept and love myself… anxiety and all.
If anyone reading this has anxiety please stop for a second… close your eyes, breathe deeply, and remember your mind is a beautiful thing, don’t hate it. Think more positive thoughts and slowly but surely your life will become positive, and your mind won’t need to run so much.
I shall no longer allow negative thoughts or feelings to drain me of my energy. Instead I shall focus on all the good that is in my life. I will think it, feel it, and speak it. By doing so I will send out vibes of positive energy into the world and I shall be grateful for all the wonderful things it will attract into my life.