My Last ‘A-HA’ Moment

My Last ‘A-HA’ Moment

I recently watched an old video of Lauren Toyota’s where she answered a question that I asked her. Lauren is someone I look up for for a lot of different reasons. I think Lauren is one of the most genuine and real people that I subscribe to on Youtube. She seems like a grounded person and she also makes kick ass vegan food.

I wanted to know what her last “A-HA” moment was, and how it changed her life. Her answer has stuck with me and I now have “money is my bitch” written so many different places in my home, in journals, on a piece of paper in my car, and even on a note on my phone.

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It got me thinking tonight about what my last “A-HA” moment was, and how it changed my life. I started to really think about it while I was in the shower. I sat down in the shower, I let the hot water run down my body, I shut my eyes, and I meditated and went still.. then it popped in my mind.

The one thing that I kept thinking about had to do with my mind.

Now to rewind a bit, I have been quite an anxious person since junior high. I don’t know what exactly caused it, but it’s only gotten worse throughout the years. My anxiety is at an all time high right now in my life.

My last A-HA moment… was realizing my anxious mind is part of who I am and it’s not something I have to fight.

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I know many people say that anxiety is something they battle with and that it is something they want to fight and win, I totally get that but that is not it for me.

For years I’ve been told I have to battle my anxiety, my depression, my struggles, and that I need to come out on top. I’m tired of always fighting… I just want to live.

Recently/right now I’m trying to accept that the constant running of my mind is just who I am. It’s not something I have to overcome or be ashamed I once had, it’s something I want to embrace and realize it’s not always a bad thing.

My anxious mind comes and goes and one of the things that helps my mind stop running marathons is peace and quiet.

Whenever I feel anxious now I like to lay down, close my eyes, surround myself with good energy, which usually are my crystals and rocks I’ve collected and I just breathe. My thoughts slow to a jog and eventually they’re as slow as a tortoise.

I love surrounding myself with peace and serenity. My crystals are now placed all over my home to make me feel safe here.

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Another thing I do when I feel anxious or when my mind is so cluttered is I step outside in the fresh air, or if I’m in my car I roll down the window and I just breathe in the fresh air. The sun also really helps!

I know this may not seem like an A-HA moment, but for me it’s huge. I’ve always been battling my mind and I’ve always been ashamed that I struggle with my mental health, but that is just STUPID. I need to learn to accept and love myself… anxiety and all.

If anyone reading this has anxiety please stop for a second… close your eyes, breathe deeply, and remember your mind is a beautiful thing, don’t hate it. Think more positive thoughts and slowly but surely your life will become positive, and your mind won’t need to run so much.

I shall no longer allow negative thoughts or feelings to drain me of my energy. Instead I shall focus on all the good that is in my life. I will think it, feel it, and speak it. By doing so I will send out vibes of positive energy into the world and I shall be grateful for all the wonderful things it will attract into my life.

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Molly

I’m Molly! Wherever I go, I search for the magic this world has to offer. I’m a cat lover, caffeine drinker, a reader of all the books and a feeler of all the feels. My life is full of positivity and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

6 Comments

  1. March 21, 2016 / 5:01 pm

    Hey!
    I love this post. It’s exactly what I needed to read today. 🙂
    I’m also an anxious stress-ball, and the struggle to overcome it only adds to the problem.
    Definitely following your blog, now.
    Cheers.
    -RJ
    PS: I’m a 22 year-old writer in LA who travels to BC a lot, so congrats on your move to Kelowna!

  2. March 21, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    I loved this! I’m super anxious too, and started a 21-day meditation challenge today. If there’s anything I’m learning, it’s that I need crystals in my life! Thank you for sharing your journey!

    • March 22, 2016 / 2:08 am

      I did a 21 day meditation challenge awhile back and it was such a great thing! I hope you find some crystals 🙂

  3. March 22, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    Thank you for this Molly! Reading that was kind of an AH-HA moment for me too. I think I have become better at accepting my anxiety, but like you said- I spent years fighting it too. And I think many times I am still fighting it. I am on medication for mine and don’t want to be anymore- I don’t want to live my whole life on meds… so that’s a goal. And something I realize about going off of medication IS accepting the anxiety-my therapist always says when you feel anxious just “notice” it- kind of feel the anxiety and let it pass. Of course, easier said than done….but I thought of that while reading this.

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