The Illusion of Perfection

Our society is obsessed with showcasing highlight reels on social media. Because of this, we can end up feeling bad about ourselves since we’re not living up to others perfect(ly captured) lives. I briefly touched on this in my latest Fitness File post, but the illusion of perfection deserves its own post.

To read FITNESS FILE: BODY CONFIDENCE AND #BODYGOALS, click here. 

With the obsession and addiction of scrolling through these perfectly posed photographs on social media, we view our own beautiful lives as boring and inferior. We look at ourselves like we’re not enough when in actuality we’re more than enough.

We see so many staged, edited and filtered images on social media that our minds are getting mixed up. What’s real and what’s staged? Do they really have those curves or did they alter the image to make themselves to look different? Is their makeup really that perfect, or does it look different without all the lights and the right camera angle? Are they really that happy?

Let’s just take a second to realize how ridiculously stupid Instagram themes are. So, if a photograph doesn’t fit a person’s “theme” they probably won’t post it. Even if they love the photograph, it becomes a no go. Everything has to be in a perfect flat lay, pretending that life is this perfect fairytale ride full of perfect lighting, even though that’s the biggest bullshit lie.

And don’t get me started with buying social media followers.

While we scroll and see hundreds, if not thousands, of crisp images and while we know the majority of them aren’t real or have been staged to look “candid yet perfect”, they weigh heavily on our hearts.

With heavy hearts, people are scared to be their raw, true selves. Teenage girls are confessing to social media stars that they’re scared to be themselves for fear of judgment, which breaks my heart. People aren’t sharing their real lives on social media because the image doesn’t match a person’s made up and pointless “theme”.

The saddest part is I truly understand what they’re going through. I may not be a teenager but as a 24-year-old, I feel those things too.

This past weekend I turned my phone off and I went camping ? Away from social media, negativity, low self esteem and routine life. I filled my soul with sunshine, love and a lot of beer. It was a beautiful getaway to help my mind recharge. Like I said before, I’ve been growing a dislike for social media and the feelings scrolling gives me. I’m not perfect and I’m tired of following these “perfect” people. I don’t have time to stage my photos and take them on a camera and then upload them to Instagram. My profile is full of memories, captured in the moment so I can remember them. My head is spinning with all these thoughts and removing myself from scrolling this past weekend was crucial. I didn’t reach for my phone once and that showed me that social media doesn’t have to be a huge part of my life. I’ve decided that I’ll be doing a big “unfollow”. I want my feed to be empowering, uplifting and beautiful when I click on Instagram. I’m ready for a digital cleanse #byebyenegativity✌?️ #tuesdaytruth #digitaldetox

A post shared by Molly Gibson Kirby (@thebookofmolly) on May 23, 2017 at 7:21pm PDT

Sometimes the “why bother” and “nothing is ever going to compare” comments sneak into my mind and fight to lower my self-esteem and self-confidence.

But with every one of those thoughts, I’m trying to fight back with the self-love I’ve nurtured within myself. I hope everyone else will too. It’s going to be hard to break the “why bother” mindset, but it’s possible with a little bit of heart and deciding that fear will not run our lives.

The first thing I’ve committed to is weening myself off social media. Now, it may seem crazy because I am a blogger, but I’m working on having healthy habits with the things in my life like social media and the gym.

I want to start visiting the internet, not living on it.

I want to go to the gym because it feels good, not because I hate my body and want to change it.

From here on out I will post real pictures of myself and my life. They may be photographs taken by friends, family members or my boyfriend, but they will be real. My body will never be altered to look different. My surroundings will be real and not staged. My face probably won’t be caked full of makeup, because I rarely wear it. You’ll also eventually see my acne, the bags under my eyes and my very pale skin in some shorts this summer. That’s me. I’m not perfect and I’m not trying to give you the illusion that I am.

Now it’s your turn. Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to start making changes because it will never come. Start now.

You don’t have to unfollow more than 700 accounts on Instagram/Twitter like I did, but do something that’s going to help you lower the unrealistic pressure to feel perfect.

Fuck, there’s no such thing as perfect. Stop pining for perfection, it’s an illusion that will never surface. Instead work towards making your life more meaningful, authentic and fulfilling for YOURSELF.

After all, it’s your life you’re creating. Put your heart and soul into it. It’s worth it.