Hello, it’s me.
You haven’t heard from me in awhile. I went quiet on social media, stopped posting on my blog and decided to get out of my head for awhile.
Well, I’m back and you deserve an explanation to why I stopped blogging.
As many of you know, I work full-time Monday to Friday as a marketer/writer for a marketing agency in Kelowna. I spend 8 hours a day in front of my computer, writing, researching and posting on different social media accounts.
When I come home, my brain is tired and my eyes hurt and the last thing I’ve been wanting to do is get back on technology and write, share my life through social media apps and be logged in. Instead, I decided to delete my personal Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my phone. I decided to stop blogging and living in this digital world.
Social media has become this space that we live on. I found this quote below earlier this summer and it really stuck with me. We’ve become obsessed with fast, consumable content and it never seems to be enough.
15 years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Now, the real world is an escape from the internet.
— Noah Smith (@Noahpinion) August 28, 2017
That’s why binge watching is so real (& bad).
Personally, I love Youtube. I follow a lot of British content creators and there have been times when I’ve binge watched old videos that I’ve seen multiple times because they hadn’t posted something new in less than a week.
I’ve always argued that Youtube is my happy place. When I need to get out of my head, turn my brain off, relax and stop worrying about the bad things, I go on Youtube to watch these people who bring me happiness and inspiration. While this is true, it also became an unhealthy habit. After I watched multiple videos, sometimes spent hours on Youtube, I wouldn’t actually end up feeling inspired. Mostly I was lethargic, numb and my eyes really hurt.
If it’s not Youtube, it’s Instagram and even Facebook. I become in this trance where I’m scrolling and not even looking or enjoying the images and art I’m seeing. I’m aimlessly scrolling and my fingers didn’t know when to stop.
When I went on Instagram, I always felt the need to post a lot. If I post a lot and engage on the app, then my following will increase, and then I will finally be worthy. I will finally “make it” and I can feel better about myself. That’s the sick way I used to think.
I would use this app to compare myself to everyone on it.
When I finished scrolling, I would feel substantially less than. I wouldn’t feel proud of the things I’ve accomplished with my blog, my life and my career. My stomach would feel like it was in knots and my anxiety would creep up my chest.
Once I started to recognize how badly these things were making me feel, I decided I needed a break.
I needed a restart.
I needed to find myself again.
At that moment I knew I needed to take a step back.
A step back into reality
A step back from my laptop
A step back from my phone
A step back from my social media accounts
It’s been nearly one month since I last posted on my blog. I’ve posted one Instagram post explaining why I was taking a break and finally I’m ready to return.
This past month has been a learning experience.
I’ve opened my eyes to the real world again. I notice the birds more, I look around the city when I’m walking and I’ve stopped scrolling aimlessly. If I catch myself doing that, or starting to feel these negative thoughts seep in, I quickly shut off and remind myself why I AM enough.
It’s unbelievable amazing what happens when you put your phone down for awhile.
The week I deleted my social media apps and promised myself that I would begin paying attention to the real world and myself again, I had the best week in a really long time. So many positive opportunities presented themselves to me and I can’t wait to share more about that in the future.
So, what have I been doing since I left social media?
I’ve been paying attention to my body.
I’ve been running a lot and continuing to train for my half marathon. I’m not where I’d like to be in my training, but I’m working towards my goals and I know come November 4th, I will finish that race and will be beaming happiness.
I’ve also been paying attention to what I put in my body. I’ve been drinking a lot of my homemade kombucha, prepping healthy vegetarian meals for myself and enjoying fresh fruit from the Okanagan.
I’ve been reading a lot.
Instead of picking up my phone before bed, I’ve been picking up my books. I’m currently switching back and forth from a few really positive “self-help” and “self-betterment” books. They’ve been helping me see myself as the worthy woman I am and helping empower me to be the wild and creative woman I am.
I’ve been going to yoga.
I’ve attended a couple of yoga classes and they’ve done wonders for my mental clarity. I’m working on a whole other post about that, so stay tuned!
I went to Hot Box Yoga, Tandava Yoga and done a few online sessions too. Each has its own vibes and yoga styles and each one brought me something different.
I floated for the first time.
Yes, you heard that right. I laid naked in a sensory deprivation tank for 60 minutes and floated in silence. It was incredible, weird and extremely unique. I’m working on a post about why I wanted to float and exactly what it felt like to me. I can’t wait for you to read the finished article.
I’ve reconnected with people who hold my heart
It’s been two years since I moved to Kelowna Kelowna and I’ve met some amazing people in that time. Some I lost touch with for awhile, but have been given the opportunity to reconnect with them and for that, I’m extremely grateful. I’ve spent time doing yoga with friends, eating breakfast together, trying new ice cream places, drinking french press coffee together, camping, making kombucha and opening my heart through meaningful conversations.
This past month has really shown me how important friendships are. Photonic friendships, best friendships, being built friendships or romantic relationships. They’re all important to me and for a long time, I haven’t been making them all an equal priority.
So, what now?
Here’s the scary part. While I continue to focus on myself, my worth and my ability to see that, I am ready to sign back into my blog and social media accounts… I think.
During my break, I’ve figured out what I want my focus of my blog and social presence to be on. I’m ready to be creative again and I’m ready to share with you everything exciting that’s being written on my Google Docs account, in my notebooks, going through my mind, on my SD card and in draft mode on my blog.
My Real Women Wednesday will be back up and running because that has a HUGE part of my blog’s new focus. The next one will be live next Wednesday and I’ll be featuring a very lovely east coaster that I’ve met while living here. She’s an incredibly hard working woman who has an AMAZING singing voice.
In addition to that, get ready for more girl power, holistic living, authentic, vulnerable and self-empowerment articles.
If you’re into that, continue to follow me on my journey.
I’d like to ask one question before I finish this novel of a welcome back blog post. What helps you stay connected to your inner-self when you’re connected to social media? Do you have any self-love practices you do on a regular basis or do you have to take digital detoxes like me?
Please share in the comment section below!
And if you’re considering a digital detox, or have been feeling low lately, I highly recommend signing off and finding your sense of self again. It’s done me wonders and I really do hope I’m ready to return.